{"id":960,"date":"2014-03-28T22:10:40","date_gmt":"2014-03-28T20:10:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.marsulpentruviata.ro\/?p=960"},"modified":"2016-03-19T20:41:03","modified_gmt":"2016-03-19T20:41:03","slug":"saptamana-pentru-viata-cum-ii-spui-copilului-tau-ca-fost-adoptat-sfatul-psihologului","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.marsulpentruviata.md\/en\/saptamana-pentru-viata-cum-ii-spui-copilului-tau-ca-fost-adoptat-sfatul-psihologului\/","title":{"rendered":"S\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2na pentru Via\u0163\u0103: Cum \u00eei spui copilului t\u0103u c\u0103 a fost adoptat \u2013 sfatul psihologului"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

\"2014.03.21-intalnire-MTR-WEB\"<\/a><\/p>\n

de \u015etefana Totorcea, \u015etiri pentrui via\u0163\u0103<\/a><\/p>\n

Simona Drug\u0103, medic specialist psihiatrie copii \u015fi adolescen\u0163i la centrul MindCare, a lucrat cu multe familii care au adoptat \u015fi confirm\u0103 o realitate tulbur\u0103toare: mul\u0163i copii adopta\u0163i simt \u00een mod inexplicabil c\u0103 ceva nu e la locul s\u0103u \u00een situarea lor \u00een lume. Aceasta se \u00eent\u00e2mpl\u0103 chiar \u015fi atunci c\u00e2nd nimeni din jur nu le d\u0103 de \u00een\u0163eles c\u0103 ar fi fost adopta\u0163i.<\/p>\n

\u201eO adolescent\u0103 care avea manifest\u0103ri de borderline, cu tulbur\u0103ri de dispozi\u0163ie, \u00eemi spunea la \u015fedin\u0163a de consiliere: \u00abNu-mi g\u0103sesc locul \u00een lume. E ceva \u00een neregul\u0103 cu mine, dar nu \u015ftiu ce\u00bb\u201d, poveste\u015fte psihologul. Din experien\u0163a sa, specialista citat\u0103 arat\u0103 c\u0103 p\u0103rin\u0163ii tind s\u0103 men\u0163ioneze adop\u0163ia ca pe ceva important atunci c\u00e2nd sunt la medic sau la psiholog cu copilul lor adoptat. Dar prezint\u0103 acest lucru ca pe o situa\u0163ie grav\u0103 \u015fi se exprim\u0103 gre\u015fit, pun\u00e2nd accentul pe ideea c\u0103 ei nu sunt p\u0103rin\u0163ii copilului.<\/p>\n

Cum ne exprim\u0103m<\/b><\/p>\n

Este o exprimare nefericit\u0103, spune Simona Drug\u0103, care \u00eei sf\u0103tuie\u015fte pe p\u0103rin\u0163i s\u0103 le dezv\u0103luie copiilor faptul c\u0103 sunt adopta\u0163i, \u00eens\u0103 f\u0103r\u0103 a pune accentul pe calitatea lor de p\u0103rin\u0163i adoptivi, ci pe procesul na\u015fterii: \u201eDac\u0103 \u00eei spui: \u00ab\u015etii, noi nu suntem p\u0103rin\u0163ii t\u0103i\u00bb, copilul se va sim\u0163i r\u0103nit \u015fi chiar abandonat. Oricum, p\u0103rin\u0163ii nu simt c\u0103 nu sunt p\u0103rin\u0163ii lui, ci dimpotriv\u0103, a\u015fa c\u0103 nu e bine s\u0103 lanseze un mesaj contradictoriu cu statutul lor emo\u0163ional. C\u00e2nd \u00eei spui copilului, trebuie s\u0103 pui accentul pe procesul de na\u015ftere \u015fi sarcina care a avut loc \u00eenainte de venirea sa pe lume\u201d.<\/p>\n

Psihologul mai crede c\u0103 este foarte util\u0103 constituirea unui grup de sprijin al persoanelor care au adoptat sau vor s\u0103 adopte, deoarece schimbul direct de experien\u0163\u0103 \u015fi exemplele de cazuri reale sunt mult mai utile dec\u00e2t o bro\u015fur\u0103 de informare primit\u0103 de la Direc\u0163ia pentru Protec\u0163ia Copilului sau de la Oficiul pentru Adop\u0163ii. \u201eP\u0103rin\u0163ii trebuie s\u0103 aib\u0103 fiecare ocazia de a-\u015fi exprima temerile\u201d, spune expertul.<\/p>\n

Probleme de mentalitate
\n<\/b><\/p>\n

C\u00e2nd te hot\u0103r\u0103\u015fti s\u0103-i spui copilului c\u0103 l-ai adoptat, trebuie s\u0103 ai \u00een minte c\u0103 \u00eei explici starea lui ca pe un fapt de via\u0163\u0103 \u015fi s\u0103 pui accentul pe originea sa, nu pe statutul t\u0103u ca p\u0103rinte \u201ede \u00eemprumut\u201d: \u201eTu e\u015fti copilul nostru, noi te-am ales pe tine\u201d este un mod potrivit de abordare.<\/p>\n

Copilul e bine s\u0103 \u015ftie c\u0103 a fost adoptat, dar p\u0103rin\u0163ii se tem \u00een general s\u0103-i spun\u0103, deoarece se tem s\u0103 nu-i resping\u0103 ulterior. \u201eOricum copilul poate s\u0103 afle \u015fi atunci problemele pot fi mai mari. Ca \u00een cazul unui copil pe care l-am cunoscut dup\u0103 ce devenise extrem de agresiv, fiindc\u0103 prietenii de aceea\u015fi v\u00e2rst\u0103 \u00eel nec\u0103jeau, spun\u00e2ndu-i c\u0103 a fost g\u0103sit la gunoi. Exist\u0103 \u00een societate o atitudine nepotrivit\u0103, care sanc\u0163ioneaz\u0103 dur astfel de cazuri, stigmatiz\u00e2ndu-i pe cei \u00een cauz\u0103 de parc\u0103 ar fi vina lor. Iar schimbarea de mentalitate trebuie s\u0103 \u00eenceap\u0103 de la p\u0103rin\u0163i\u201d, poveste\u015fte psihologul MindCare.<\/p>\n

Problemele de ata\u015fament la copiii adopta\u0163i<\/b><\/p>\n

\u00cen plus, viitorii p\u0103rin\u0163i adoptivi trebuie bine preg\u0103ti\u0163i cu privire la posibilele probleme pe care le pot \u00eent\u00e2mpina cu copilul \u00een perioada post-adop\u0163ie. \u201e\u00cen Anglia, li se spune clar c\u0103 la un copil adoptat pot ap\u0103rea probleme de comportament, poate s\u0103-\u015fi resping\u0103 p\u0103rin\u0163ii adoptivi, chiar s\u0103 fug\u0103 de acas\u0103, s\u0103 fac\u0103 depresie, s\u0103 abandoneze \u015fcoala, s\u0103 fie agresiv sau hiperactiv.\u201d Astfel, p\u0103rin\u0163ii vor \u015fti ce a\u015ftept\u0103ri s\u0103 aib\u0103 \u00een leg\u0103tur\u0103 cu copilul adoptat \u015fi c\u0103 e nevoie de iubire necondi\u0163ionat\u0103.<\/p>\n

Alte probleme care pot ap\u0103rea la copilul adoptat pot fi cele de ata\u015fament. Chiar \u015fi dup\u0103 numai c\u00e2teva s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2ni de abandon la spital, copilul poate deveni excesiv de sociabil, av\u00e2nd ceea ce se cheam\u0103 ata\u015fament dezorganizat. Se lipe\u015fte de oricine (nu doar de persoana care-l \u00eengrije\u015fte) f\u0103r\u0103 discern\u0103m\u00e2nt, vorbe\u015fte mult \u015fi nediscriminat (d\u0103 secrete din cas\u0103), \u00eembr\u0103\u0163i\u015feaz\u0103 pe oricine. Sau, dimpotriv\u0103, are un ata\u015fament inhibat, e extrem de re\u0163inut, nu se apropie u\u015for de nimeni, se sperie u\u015for, pl\u00e2nge repede c\u00e2nd persoana care-l \u00eengrije\u015fte nu e \u00een jur. Alte probleme sunt cele de comportament ambivalent: unii copii ba migreaz\u0103 excesiv spre p\u0103rinte, ba \u00eel pedepse\u015fte ferindu-se de acesta.<\/p>\n

Ata\u015famentul dezorganizat vine la pachet cu un comportament hiperactiv al copilului, care devine foarte obositor pentru p\u0103rin\u0163i. Ace\u015ftia ajung s\u0103 simt\u0103 c\u0103 nu mai pot face fa\u0163\u0103 \u015fi apare contradic\u0163ia \u00eentre ce vor \u015fi ce simt pe de o parte \u015fi sentimentul de epuizare a resurselor pe de alt\u0103 parte.<\/p>\n

\u201eS\u0103 nu pierdem din vedere c\u0103 copilul nu inten\u0163ioneaz\u0103 s\u0103 fie a\u015fa, dar poate avea aceste probleme de s\u0103n\u0103tate mintal\u0103, rezolvabile prin dedicare total\u0103, iubire \u015fi consiliere pentru \u00eentreaga familie\u201d, spune Simona Drug\u0103.<\/p>\n

Cite\u015fte \u015fi: S\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2na pentru Via\u0163\u0103: Cum \u00eei spui copilului t\u0103u c\u0103 a fost adoptat \u2013 experien\u0163a Iuliei<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

de \u015etefana Totorcea, \u015etiri pentrui via\u0163\u0103 Simona Drug\u0103, medic specialist psihiatrie copii \u015fi adolescen\u0163i la centrul MindCare, a lucrat cu multe familii care au adoptat \u015fi confirm\u0103 o realitate tulbur\u0103toare: mul\u0163i copii adopta\u0163i simt \u00een mod inexplicabil c\u0103 ceva nu e la locul s\u0103u \u00een situarea lor \u00een lume. Aceasta se \u00eent\u00e2mpl\u0103 chiar \u015fi atunci […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":937,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[18,80,92,133,179,222],"class_list":["post-960","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-editia-2014","tag-adoptie","tag-copil","tag-dosar-de-adoptie","tag-mama","tag-parinti-adoptivi","tag-saptamana-pentru-viata"],"yoast_head":"\nS\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2na pentru Via\u0163\u0103: Cum \u00eei spui copilului t\u0103u c\u0103 a fost adoptat \u2013 sfatul psihologului - Mar\u0219ul pentru via\u021b\u0103<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.marsulpentruviata.md\/en\/saptamana-pentru-viata-cum-ii-spui-copilului-tau-ca-fost-adoptat-sfatul-psihologului\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"S\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2na pentru Via\u0163\u0103: Cum \u00eei spui copilului t\u0103u c\u0103 a fost adoptat \u2013 sfatul psihologului - Mar\u0219ul pentru via\u021b\u0103\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"de \u015etefana Totorcea, \u015etiri pentrui via\u0163\u0103 Simona Drug\u0103, medic specialist psihiatrie copii \u015fi adolescen\u0163i la centrul MindCare, a lucrat cu multe familii care au adoptat \u015fi confirm\u0103 o realitate tulbur\u0103toare: mul\u0163i copii adopta\u0163i simt \u00een mod inexplicabil c\u0103 ceva nu e la locul s\u0103u \u00een situarea lor \u00een lume. 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