{"id":962,"date":"2014-03-28T22:12:59","date_gmt":"2014-03-28T20:12:59","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.marsulpentruviata.ro\/?p=962"},"modified":"2016-03-19T20:41:00","modified_gmt":"2016-03-19T20:41:00","slug":"saptamana-pentru-viata-cum-ii-spui-copilului-tau-ca-fost-adoptat-experienta-iuliei","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.marsulpentruviata.md\/en\/saptamana-pentru-viata-cum-ii-spui-copilului-tau-ca-fost-adoptat-experienta-iuliei\/","title":{"rendered":"S\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2na pentru Via\u0163\u0103: Cum \u00eei spui copilului t\u0103u c\u0103 a fost adoptat \u2013 experien\u0163a Iuliei"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"adoptie1\"<\/a><\/p>\n

\n

de \u015etefana Totorcea, \u015etiri pentru via\u0163\u0103<\/a><\/p>\n

\u00cen cadrul S\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2nii pentru Via\u0163\u0103, la masa rotund\u0103 \u201eDorin\u0163ele \u015fi problemele noastre, ale p\u0103rin\u0163ilor adoptivi\u201d, au participat persoane care au adoptat \u015fi persoane care se g\u00e2ndesc s\u0103 adopte. Ideea acestei prime \u00eent\u00e2lniri a fost crearea unui grup de sprijin unde toate persoanele interesate pot veni cu propriile experien\u0163e, sfaturi \u015fi \u00eentreb\u0103ri. Schimbul de experien\u0163\u0103 se va putea ulterior coagula \u00eentr-o ac\u0163iune comun\u0103 de schimbare a g\u00e2ndirii \u015fi, de ce nu, chiar de \u00eembun\u0103t\u0103\u0163ire a legisla\u0163iei adop\u0163iei.<\/p>\n

Ne-a emo\u0163ionat experien\u0163a Iuliei, o mam\u0103 adoptiv\u0103 \u00een v\u00e2rst\u0103 de 33 de ani din Bucure\u015fti, care a povestit despre cum a adoptat \u015fi despre perioada post-adop\u0163ie.<\/p>\n

Ea a venit la \u00eent\u00e2lnire din dorin\u0163a de a-\u015fi \u00eemp\u0103rt\u0103\u015fi experien\u0163a \u015fi de a le ajuta \u015fi pe alte mame adoptive, actuale sau viitoare: \u201eCei care sunt deja hot\u0103r\u00e2\u0163i s\u0103 adopte o vor face indiferent de dificult\u0103\u0163i. \u00cen urma experien\u0163ei prin care am trecut, aceasta r\u0103m\u00e2ne convingerea mea personal\u0103. Dar cred c\u0103 este mult mai bine ca viitorii p\u0103rin\u0163i adoptivi s\u0103 fie preg\u0103ti\u0163i din timp \u00een leg\u0103tur\u0103 cu problemele care pot ap\u0103rea. Sunt sigur\u0103 c\u0103 aceasta nu-i va face mai pu\u0163in disponibili s\u0103 urmeze calea pe care au ales-o. \u00cei va face \u00eens\u0103 mai puternici \u015fi mai preg\u0103ti\u0163i pentru ceea ce urmeaz\u0103\u201d.<\/p>\n

Iulia a povestit c\u00e2t de greu le-a fost ei \u015fi so\u0163ului ei s\u0103 vad\u0103 copilul zilnic timp de 1 lun\u0103 \u015fi jum\u0103tate doar pentru ca apoi s\u0103-l lase la c\u0103min, deoarece cererea nu era definitivat\u0103.<\/p>\n

C\u00e2nd, \u00een fine, au reu\u015fit s\u0103-l aduc\u0103 acas\u0103, Iulia a fost preg\u0103tit\u0103 s\u0103 fac\u0103 \u015fi un sacrificiu major pentru a fi al\u0103turi de el. Mai precis, c\u00e2nd a constatat c\u0103 b\u0103ie\u0163elul ei avea o nevoie uria\u015f\u0103 de prezen\u0163a sa, a renun\u0163at la o carier\u0103 de succes \u00eentr-o multinationala \u015fi i s-a dedicat lui \u00een totalitate.<\/p>\n

O problem\u0103 spinoas\u0103 a familiilor cu copii adopta\u0163i este cea a secretului adop\u0163iei. \u00cen \u0163\u0103rile care beneficiaz\u0103 de o lege a adop\u0163iei deschise, s-a constat c\u0103 este mult mai bine pentru copil s\u0103 \u015ftie c\u0103 este adoptat \u015fi s\u0103 aib\u0103 posibilitatea de a-\u015fi cunoa\u015fte p\u0103rin\u0163ii naturali.<\/p>\n

De aceea, \u015fi Iulia, dup\u0103 ce s-a consultat cu speciali\u015fti \u00een psihologia copilului, a decis c\u0103 este mai bine s\u0103-i spun\u0103 b\u0103ie\u0163elului c\u0103 a fost adoptat, folosind \u00eens\u0103 un limbaj pe \u00een\u0163elesul acestuia. \u201eLa \u00eenceput i-am spus: \u00abTo\u0163i copiii se nasc la spital. \u015ei tu te-ai n\u0103scut acolo \u015fi ai stat pu\u0163in la spital, apoi au venit Mami \u015fi Tati \u015fi te-au luat acas\u0103\u00bb. \u201d<\/p>\n

Multe din m\u0103rturiile despre adop\u0163ie pe care le avem de la cei implica\u0163i arat\u0103 c\u00e2t de sensibil este acest aspect \u015fi c\u00e2te dificult\u0103\u0163i creeaz\u0103 \u00een familie. De exemplu, exist\u0103 copii care \u015ftiu c\u0103 au fost adopta\u0163i, dar p\u0103rin\u0163ii nu \u015ftiu c\u0103 ei \u015ftiu. Aceasta aduce suferin\u0163\u0103 \u00een familii \u015fi subterfugii care ar fi mai u\u015for s\u0103 nu existe.<\/p>\n

Este uimitor faptul c\u0103 un copil adoptat are un al \u015faselea sim\u0163 care \u00eei spune c\u0103 este adoptat. Iar experien\u0163a Iuliei este gr\u0103itoare \u00een acest sens. C\u00e2nd a mai crescut (acum are cinci ani), b\u0103ie\u0163elul ei a \u00eenceput s\u0103 con\u015ftientizeze venirea lui pe lume \u00eentr-un fel nea\u015fteptat. Iulia poveste\u015fte: \u201eAst\u0103 var\u0103, eram la mare. C\u00e2nd a ie\u015fit din ap\u0103, a venit la mine \u015fi mi-a spus ce visase: \u00abEram la \u0163ar\u0103 \u015fi mama m-a dat la gard. Eu m-am urcat pe gard \u015fi m-am \u00eent\u00e2lnit cu Tati\u00bb. Era o situa\u0163ie \u015fi un vocabular pe care eu nu le-am folosit niciodat\u0103 \u00een convorbirile cu el. L-am \u00eentrebat: \u00abCare mam\u0103, eu?\u00bb. Mi-a r\u0103spuns c\u0103 era alta mama despre care visase. Alt\u0103dat\u0103, visase c\u0103 era pe fundul unei pr\u0103pastii, de unde ie\u015fise \u015fi se \u00eent\u00e2lnise cu mine. Alt\u0103dat\u0103, visase c\u0103 era \u00eentr-un tren, din care s-a dat jos \u00eentr-o gar\u0103 unde \u00eel a\u015fteptam eu. Atunci i-am amintit ce-i spusesem \u00een copil\u0103rie, c\u0103 Mami \u015fi Tati \u00eel luaser\u0103 de la spital \u015fi \u00eel duseser\u0103 acas\u0103. Am ad\u0103ugat c\u0103 la spital \u00eel n\u0103scuse alt\u0103 doamn\u0103, nu Mami\u201d.<\/p>\n

Copilul a \u00eentrebat cine era doamna, dar, din p\u0103cate, Iulia nu are aceast\u0103 informa\u0163ie.<\/p>\n

Cu alt\u0103 ocazie, c\u00e2nd s-a vorbit \u00een familie despre un nou-n\u0103scut care ie\u015fise din burtica mamei, b\u0103iatul Iuliei a spus c\u0103 \u015fi el ie\u015fise din burtica ei. Nu imediat, dar cu proxima ocazie, Iulia i-a precizat: \u201e\u015etii, tu nu ai stat la Mami \u00een burtic\u0103, pentru c\u0103 Mami nu a putut s\u0103 te \u0163in\u0103. Ai stat la alt\u0103 doamn\u0103 \u00een burtic\u0103 \u015fi te-ai n\u0103scut la spital, apoi au venit Mami \u015fi cu Tati \u015fi te-au luat acas\u0103\u201d.<\/p>\n

Iulia spune c\u0103 nu a tratat ca pe un mare secret fa\u0163\u0103 de copil faptul c\u0103 acesta a fost adoptat. I s-a p\u0103rut mai natural s\u0103 nu-i ascund\u0103 acest lucru. \u201eAsta nu ne face pe noi mai pu\u0163in p\u0103rin\u0163ii lui \u015fi nici pe el mai pu\u0163in copilul nostru\u201d, spune ea.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Cite\u015fte \u015fi: S\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2na pentru Via\u0163\u0103: Cum \u00eei spui copilului t\u0103u c\u0103 a fost adoptat \u2013 sfatul psihologului<\/a><\/p>\n

foto: http:\/\/www.freedigitalphotos.net\/<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

de \u015etefana Totorcea, \u015etiri pentru via\u0163\u0103 \u00cen cadrul S\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2nii pentru Via\u0163\u0103, la masa rotund\u0103 \u201eDorin\u0163ele \u015fi problemele noastre, ale p\u0103rin\u0163ilor adoptivi\u201d, au participat persoane care au adoptat \u015fi persoane care se g\u00e2ndesc s\u0103 adopte. Ideea acestei prime \u00eent\u00e2lniri a fost crearea unui grup de sprijin unde toate persoanele interesate pot veni cu propriile experien\u0163e, sfaturi […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":963,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[18,80,92,133,179,222],"class_list":["post-962","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-editia-2014","tag-adoptie","tag-copil","tag-dosar-de-adoptie","tag-mama","tag-parinti-adoptivi","tag-saptamana-pentru-viata"],"yoast_head":"\nS\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2na pentru Via\u0163\u0103: Cum \u00eei spui copilului t\u0103u c\u0103 a fost adoptat \u2013 experien\u0163a Iuliei - Mar\u0219ul pentru via\u021b\u0103<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"http:\/\/www.marsulpentruviata.md\/en\/saptamana-pentru-viata-cum-ii-spui-copilului-tau-ca-fost-adoptat-experienta-iuliei\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"S\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2na pentru Via\u0163\u0103: Cum \u00eei spui copilului t\u0103u c\u0103 a fost adoptat \u2013 experien\u0163a Iuliei - Mar\u0219ul pentru via\u021b\u0103\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"de \u015etefana Totorcea, \u015etiri pentru via\u0163\u0103 \u00cen cadrul S\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2nii pentru Via\u0163\u0103, la masa rotund\u0103 \u201eDorin\u0163ele \u015fi problemele noastre, ale p\u0103rin\u0163ilor adoptivi\u201d, au participat persoane care au adoptat \u015fi persoane care se g\u00e2ndesc s\u0103 adopte. 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